By María Murillo
Have you wondered what happens, when time and time again you live the same negative experience, one that is frustrating, annoying, sad, and painful and instead of overcoming it, you repeat it over and over?
There are many factors that can influence this happening, like fear to change, fear of the unknown, lack of commitment, lack of willpower, lack of clarity of purpose – What do I really want? What gives meaning to my life? What makes me feel alive and committed?
Aside from all the factors that come into play to repeat patterns of destructive behavior, today we will focus on a protagonist “agent” that often is the cause behind that paralysis or lack of decision-making, lack of determination, of clarity, and all those things that go against our TRUE IDENTITY. This “agent” is also known as the “internal sabotaging voice” or, the “EGO”.
The ego is that internal voice that judges, us, controls us, criticizes us, mocks us, points fingers at us, stops us, offends us, and ridicules our life. The ego takes us to self sabotage, and tells us things like these: “How is this possible at your age?” “You’re no good at this”, “It’s hard for you to make it”, “forget it, it’s impossible”, “you’ve gotten so fat”, “don’t continue, it’s useless, you can’t”, etc. The list is endless; the ego confuses and betrays us, and fills us with fears.
But, what is it?… The ego, in simple words, is that mental image of what we tell ourselves we are. That image that we’ve built throughout our experiences, based on models and conditioning created by the entire exterior world, of the relationship that we have with ourselves.
A clear example of beings that live without ego is animals. Animals don’t have a relationship with themselves, they simply ARE themselves. That’s why there is no cat in the world, or in history, that looks at itself in a mirror and says “my whiskers look awful”, or a French poodle that sees a reflection of itself and thinks “I can’t stand these curls, I look awful!”.
Us human beings don’t need to become animals to rid ourselves of the ego, because we are beings with a conscience, and thanks to it, we can realize who we really are and evolve. What then, can we do about that part of ourselves that sabotages us – to stop it, silence it, and omit it?
Practical exercise:
- Identify your ego:
– How often does it appear? Every day? Always? In what moments?
– How is it? If it were a person would it be a man or a woman? Is it tall, short, fat, thin?
– Maybe it looks like someone you know, maybe it looks like an animated drawing, or some famous character. The idea is for you to attribute a face to it, as well as an attire and an entire personality. Does it wear glasses, a hat, is it bald, does it have moles, what’s its skin color? Just create your own character if it doesn’t already exist.
- Name the character:
– If you can already see this “character”, until today called ego, you can give it its own name. How would it be called? Give it a nickname, an easy name to remember.
- Give it orders:
– Now that it has an image, you can recognize it, you already have it identified, and as you have created it, you can command it and give it orders. Next time it shows up you can do as you please with it. You can thank it and dismiss it, you can put it on a plane and send it very far with no return ticket, you can put it in a drawer and lock it in, you can ask it to leave you in peace for TODAY and have it go elsewhere.
– Every time it tries to criticize you, or demotivate you to take action, give it less of a chance to be a protagonist in your life, less time and space, less strength, as he or she creates a place of fear and suffering somewhere inside of you. It is that INTERIOR JUDGE, that only provokes you to step away from who you really are and your true values.
The other side of the coin
YOUR TRUE SELF shines through, when in the end you’ve learned to command, calm and shut down the ego. Your true identity is the one that knows what you truly deserve. Your wise part, that which is truly your INNER GUIDE and manifests as a force capable of crushing any doubt, any fear, any sabotaging voice. That party of you is what keeps you in balance, in equilibrium, with health, dreaming, and making each of those dreams come true. Your SELF handles all these “SELFS” that are vital to live a life that is whole: SELFKNOWLEDGE, SELFRECOGNITION, SELFHELP and SELFHEALING. These fill you with hope and trust, nurture love, as well as high and positive energies.
Practical exercise:
1. Identify your true self:
Give it an image, do the same thing you did with the ego. Put a face, a form, attire, a real image; create a character or identify it with an already existing one.
2. Name your true self:
This is your TRUE SELF, your BEING. LOVE, NURTURE and LISTEN to it, ask it to show up more and more. In actuality, this part of you is ALWAYS there, it is just a matter of choosing if you want to let yourself be guided by your ego, or your BEING.
3. Make your true self your guide:
Allow it to be a protagonist, let it emerge and flow in and out of you…
YOU ARE, much more than any image or relationship created; your TRUE ESSENCE, your SELF in a PURE STATE, is your TRUE SELF.
Live according to what HE tells you, BE YOURSELF! You will become the only and true author of the most authentic work that has ever existed: YOUR LIFE!
